You know that bourne, the undiscovered country from which no traveler returns, that Hamlet spoke about? Well, Hamlet was wrong. Someone just came back. I spoke to him yesterday. We hadn’t chatted since late 2007. He’s a New Yorker, so of course his first questions were about politics.

¬–Who’s mayor of New York City?

—Bill DeBlasio.

—Who?

—Bill DeBlasio.

—Okay, never-mind. Who’s president of the United States?

—Barack Obama

—Heard of him. I guess he defeated Hillary and was re-elected in 2012?

—That’s right. But Hillary is like a bad penny. You can’t get rid of her. She’s the front-runner for the Democratic nomination this year.

—¬What’s happening in Israel?

—Still Netanyahu

—Talk about your bad penny. Anyway, let’s get back to the US of A. Who’s running against Hillary?

—Yes, Bernie Sanders is putting up a very creditable fight.

—The Vermont exponent of Ben and Jerry’s socialism?

—Yes.

—Well, I’m glad to hear that there is at least one socialist left in the United States.

—That’s about right.

—What about the Republicans?

—There’s Marco Rubio and Ted Cruz

—Who? Latinos? Has the GOP moved to the left? Going for the Mexican vote?

—Hardly. But the front runner is Donald Trump. He’s probably going to win the nomination

—C’mon. I come all the way back from Sheol, and all you can do is tell me a stupid joke?

—Honest. Donald Trump, Donald bleeping Trump.

—(The traveler falls to the ground, laughing hysterically. )

—(after recovering) Well, I suppose, if we had to have a fascist as president, it might as well be a New Yorker.