God – I set out on this road

because I want to tell

about You and me.

I’m Shunamit Kam from Givatayim

27 years old.

I’m sitting here on a chair

And I don’t want to burst out laughing.

I want You to make a miracle for me

that You would come down from Heaven and I will see You.

and You are invisible

and I’m not invisible

I am a human being.

*Matia Kam: This monologue was typed on my computer in 2004.
I corrected spelling errors (many of them dyslexic) and keyboard emissions. Its entire content is hers, word for word. And so is the breaking of the lines.

 Shunamit at the time faced ongoing frustration in her attempts to become a volunteer in several places, including a nursing home and kindergarten. Even when it seemed like she was doing well – it was over. For no obvious reason, on the general pretext that “she is not suitable.” It was quite clear from the outset that employers had no faith in Shunamit’s abilities, no expectation that she was able to contribute. Their starting point was Shunamit’s disability – not her abilities, and her employment as a volunteer was for them a kind of charity, with no expectation of anything in return. In their (limited) understanding, Shunamit was limited, unable to give and contribute. It was a time of constant – albeit unintentional – damage to Shunamit’s self-image and confidence, which was eroding, hitting the wall of her life every morning with the hidden but screaming inscription – “What will happen?” What will be today at work, and what will be tomorrow, if there will be a tomorrow. Shunamit felt invisible to the normative world around her, unable or unwilling to see what Shunamit had to offer, and did not give her a real opportunity to prove, or attempt to prove herself. To be given a chance without prejudices. An opportunity that would be given to her not in pity but in her right as human being.