PARTING OF The Red SEA – A PASSOVER FANTASY by Jim Anderson

Narrator: Two sharks, Max and Charley, are basking in the sun at the surface of the Red Sea, when …

Max: (Spoken in gangster dialect.) Hey, Charlie, were ya been; long time, no see.

Charley: Yo, Max! I been down ta Australia, to the barrier reef … trying to catch some of dem swimmers in da surf.

Max: Any luck?

Charley: Nah, not a one.

Max: (Lazily) Hey Charley, look over dere. Dere must be thousands of Hebrew slaves on da beach. What d’ya suppose dere up to?

Charley: (Curious, but not excited) I dunno. But look what’s commen up behind ‘em…must be half da Egyptian cavalry…

Max: (More Interested): Let’s move closer to shore….looks like dose Egyptians are gonna cut dose Hebrews to ribbons…. And I want to grab me a few bites…

Charley: Yea, you’re right…. Wait for me… I hope dey throw da whole mess of ‘em into da sea…

Max: Hey, what’s that guy doing waving his staff….Hey,… Did ya see that? He cut da sea in half… Look, dare’s Tillie and Mildred on da oder side of that strip of dry land…

Charley: And da slaves are running across to da uder side of da sea….Maybe we can grab a couple as dey pass by if dey get close enough …

Max: Darn, I missed da guy I tried to grab…Looks like da slaves are all da way across

Charley: Yea, you should have seen da one that got away from me…Must have been 10 feet tall and weighed 500 pounds….

Max: Dat sounds like a fish story to me… I guess we’ll have to settle for some of da small fry fish flopping around in da mud near da edge of da water…

Charley: Look, here come da Egyptians, horses, chariots and all. Chasen right after da Hebrews.

Max: Hey… da water, it’s closing in on em…. cumon, let’s grab some leg of Egyptian…

Charley: You take da Egyptians. I’m gonna get me some horse meat….

Narrator: Later that evening.

Max: Man, I’m stuffed. I don’t think I’ve ever eaten so much…

Charley: Yea. Hey listen, those Hebrews on da oder side… Dey’re still partying. Singing, dancing…Led by dat woman dey’re calling Miriam.

Max: What are dey saying? Something about “meat and mocha”…

Charley: Oh well, let em celebrate dere freedom. … It’s a miracle dey didn’t get caught by da Egyptians… I’ve gotta get some sleep. This has been one crazy day…

Max: Yea, I bet sharks will be talking about this one for thousands of years…

Charley: Uh huh….(Yawn) Maybe we should write a book….

Max: Yeah, but it would take at least five volumes to tell our story…

Charley: Wonder what da Hebrew slaves would call it if dey write dere version….